Stuck in a Furrow
Monday, June 26, 2006
You Know That Moment....
So, I went to the 25th anniversary party of my ex's parents on the weekend. The party itself was lovely, the weather cooperated and there was cake! What more could I ask for? Leading up to the shindig, however, I was an anxious wreck as I knew that he would be there and this was the first time we had seen each other in a year, almost to the exact weekend. It has been a rough year.
I went, even though a few of my family and friends gave me their 2 cents of advice, telling me not to go. There wasn't a lot of support on the yes side, but I'm glad I did go. I even had, gasp, fun!
We chatted, we laughed, we spent time around each other and I will admit that there was a part of me that wished things had turned out differently. I was far from innocent in the nastiness that came out in the last 1 1/2 years and I wish that I could take a lot of that back. But, as I was driving home, I had this great sense of peace about the whole day and I can honestly say that I now have closure. I thought I had it before but there was still a side of me that was bitter, angry and upset. There is freedom in knowing that we are over and done and that I can chalk that part of my life up to some incredible memories and some searing pain and some opportunities for growth.
I have no expectations of this relationship anymore. If it turns out that we can wave hello as we pass on the street and honestly be able to care when we ask "hey, how's it going" or if we can catch an occasional movie or drink, that's cool with me.
I went, even though a few of my family and friends gave me their 2 cents of advice, telling me not to go. There wasn't a lot of support on the yes side, but I'm glad I did go. I even had, gasp, fun!
We chatted, we laughed, we spent time around each other and I will admit that there was a part of me that wished things had turned out differently. I was far from innocent in the nastiness that came out in the last 1 1/2 years and I wish that I could take a lot of that back. But, as I was driving home, I had this great sense of peace about the whole day and I can honestly say that I now have closure. I thought I had it before but there was still a side of me that was bitter, angry and upset. There is freedom in knowing that we are over and done and that I can chalk that part of my life up to some incredible memories and some searing pain and some opportunities for growth.
I have no expectations of this relationship anymore. If it turns out that we can wave hello as we pass on the street and honestly be able to care when we ask "hey, how's it going" or if we can catch an occasional movie or drink, that's cool with me.
posted by Crystal at 9:41 PM
7 Comments:
"And THAT my friend is what they call, closure." - Rachel Greene
Glad you had a good time.
I know that I was one who added the two cents and wasn't as supportive about the whole thing as I should've been. Me, of all people, sneaking peaks at emails wasn't supportive of you figuring out this whole thing. For that, I am truely sorry.
But that night after yoga I decided that wherever this whole thing might lead, I'd be with you. I'm glad you went, I'm glad you had such a good time, and I'm glad that you had your deciding moment no matter what the outcome was. I have to admit I'm a little jealous of your closure, I didn't have one of those moments.
I am proud of you and although I was a tad nervous about this trip, I was and am confident that you will make smart choices. I also know that whatever happens and whom ever you hook up with, I will love you and always support you.
Your dad rocks!
Please define 'hook up'. I think I may have a different idea than my father intends.
I was a little concerned about the hook up comment as well!
Hook up... Live with.. marry.. go for a romp in the sack.. Whatever.. LOL
Just kidding some things I do NOT need to know
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