Stuck in a Furrow

I tripped over some shoes in my entrance last night when I got home from Carmen's. It was dark and I admit, I was too damn lazy to turn the light on...I would just stumble the whole 3 steps to my living room light. Well, I jammed my foot on a shoe, cursed, jumped around and got over it. This morning, my second toe hurt like a bugger but I donned my socks, runners and headed up the hill to work. After I got home early this afternoon, I stripped my socks off and lo and behold...my toe has turned a lovely shade of blue and purple, down the side and on top and no where near where I stubbed it. I think I broke my freaken' toe on my summer sandals.

That is just wrong. And, I have a pedicure tomorrow! Who wants to show off their cute toesies when they have a nasty looked bruise.

It still hurts. I defintely broke it.

One of my favourite days of the week has become Wednesday. Usually it was Thursday because of the fantastic TV lineup but now, I look forward to Wednesdays. It is Biblestudy night. I started going to this biblestudy group at RockPointe church in October and have grown to love and truly appreciate these 9 women. They have challenged me, made me laugh, let me cry and generally have just encouraged me in my walk with Christ.

We read last night about the Acts 2:42 church. This is a church that pointed people to Christ by their lives. They didn't fret about the peripherals, the order of their worship or the length of the teaching or to have programs and a service order. They didn't worry about that. They cared about community and their numbers grew. Our biblestudy group decided that we desire to be that church, the one that cares about community and becoming apprentices of Jesus. Our numbers are growing. Therefore, in the fall, we are birthing a new group and although it is sad to be splitting up from some of the women that I think are incredible, it is also very exciting to know that it is a time for new growth.

I am entering a spring season in my life. Winter was rough and seemed to last forever but a spring is coming and with it, new growth, new opportunites and new relationships. I'm excited.

I think I have an issue with jealously. I'm jealous of my brother's new kickass job. I'm jealous that my good friends are expecting a baby and I'm jealous of my yoga buddy and her ability to do crazy back bends.

I had to finally tell someone that I just wasn't interested in a relationship. I dreaded having to do it. I stressed about it, got some advice and finally just emailed him. (I know what you are thinking, that email is lame and a woosie way to go about this but I don't even have his phone number.) I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I've had to tell someone this. It isn't like boys are beating down my door and I get a lot of practice in the rejection category. I was sort of hoping that he would just get the hint if I blocked him on MSN or just didn't say hi. I even figured that he had lost interest when he didn't say anything online either. No such luck! We haven't hung out since September. SEPTEMBER! We did have some fun dates before then, but there was always a little awkwardness attached. I figured it was a bad sign if the thought of him getting anywhere near me, freaked me out...not that I'm a prude or anything. Really. I actually watched a whole movie sitting forward so he wouldn't get any "funny" ideas! I just wanted to watch the movie... I always had a million and one excuses as to why I was too busy to meet him. Friends, work, church, family functions, washing my hair, plucking my eyebrows, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. But this time, when he asked and I couldn't come up with a plausible excuse that I hadn't used yet, I knew it was time to bite the bullet and cut him loose. Don't get me wrong, he was a great guy. Friendly, funny, good job, independant, older than me (but not taller...that was an issue) but there was something missing. That spark. Chemistry. He was more in the friend department but I knew better than to say that. Besides, then I'd be stuck doing the "friend" thing when in reality, friends do coffee and I didn't want to have coffee. So that is the end of that. It is a relief to not have to be creative in my excuses anymore but it still sucks. I'm now back to no dating prospects. At least 30 is just around the corner...I only have to make it until then!

Maybe I should have taken Nelson up on his proposal...

Sometimes I miss the strangest things....like 4 am text messages or Kraft dinner out of a hotpot. Today, I missed hearing the alto echo on 'The Old Rugged Cross'. One of the reason that I love RockPointe is that we sing hymns and we sing them the way they were written. No spicing up the melody or altering the words so that they are easier to understand. Sometimes they have a celtic flair but generally, you can shut your eyes and sing your heart out. I love that.

I went to church this morning for a Good Friday service. It has been a long time since I've gone to one that I wasn't forced to go to. It was a great service. Nothing flashy. Simple and contemplative. I went to a service once at my parent's Lutheran church. It was a dark service that was totally focused on the crucifixion. No mention of the hope to come or the excitment that would be on Easter morning. No reason to celebrate. I thought that that was an interesting take. It left you feeling sad and a little depressed and a little gross. Christ's disciples didn't know what was coming in 3 days either. They probably felt quite sad and depressed and gross. It is so easy to get caught up in Easter...the holiday, the chocolate, the bunnies (and I love bunnies) and forget that without the dark Friday, there is no happy Easter.

So I am wearing a pedometer that I "borrowed" from my office today. I put it on first thing when I got here this morning. I am only at 1500 steps. I need to hit a minimun of 5000 to burn off that piece of very yummy peanut butter pie I had last night at the Cousins. Amish women walk about 17,000 steps a day which is why they can eat so many carbs and still stay thin! Maybe I should become Amish...after all, I've made it this long without TV...

My bro pointed out last night that I weigh about 10 lbs more than he does. I could take the easy route and blame this tidbit on the fact that well, I have a chest and this tends to add a few extra pound or, I could actually do something about it.

Like Lipo!

Why do people leave the empty toilet paper roll on the holder instead of putting the new one on? The new roll sits on the back of the toilet until it is half gone and then FINALLY someone puts it where it belongs. (I am sometimes guilty of this, just ask my mother!) This is just something I'm pondering today as I am waiting for someone else to replace the roll. I refuse to do it.

I am just being stubborn.

Oh...and my wise uncle Corey taught me that the roll should ALWAYS spin towards you. To do it the other way is just plain wrong.

I love people-watching. I can do it for a whole shift at the mall...there is nothing else to do most of the time. I can come up with all kinds of elaborate stories in my mind about other's lives and what they are about. It passes time. At my office, there is a window right by my desk. I can watch patients come and go, usually I can get a chuckle out of watching them try to park. I am amazed that some of our patients even have a license. Anyways, there are a few people that pass by my window every day. There is Bernice (that is what I call her. She seems like a Bernice). She wears a long black skirt every day...without fail and a black fleece jacket and sports a large purse. Sometimes she has an umbrella. She has her greying hair in a bun. I wonder where she walks and what is in her purse. She seems like an artist. Maybe she carries paints and heads to Rotary park and paints the city skyline. Maybe she goes to the local school and teaches art for an hour or two. Maybe she gets a vanilla latte from the Second Cup and people watches.

There is a group of 3 highschool girls that pass by around 3:30. They are always dressed in the shortest skirts or the tightest pants and Uggs. I'm surprised they haven't frozen their woohoos. They always have earbuds in but seem to be carrying on a conversation with each other. I imagine that they are really intellectual girls and they are disussing world politics or something like that. I'm sure they are not. They are probably discussing boys. About 10 steps behind them, is the unpopular girl. She is always a few steps behind but they don't ackknowledge her. She wears sweats a lot...and a ponytail. Was I that girl in highschool? Always on the cusp of the cool crowd? I think I was. It helps me sleep at night to think that I wasn't miles away from popularity. I probably was miles away.

There are the boys that smoke right behind our fence. They think it makes them look tough but they cough and hack and are all red in the face. They make me laugh.

Sometimes I don't get anywork done because I'm too busy staring out the window. And then I get freaked out thinking that someone is probably watching me when I walk down the street or in the mall. I hope they come up with a good story for me. I'd hate to be boring...

Ok. So I once again have 2 tickets to the Our Lady Peace show on May 1st. If you want to go or know someone who does...let me know.

Sigh.

I want to have a reason to buy those incredibly impractical but fantastic shoes at Aldo. They are no strappy sandels or Manolo Blahniks but they are amazing. I'd probably break my neck in them. I want a reason to get all dressed up that doesn't involve another family wedding or a trip to Rosebud. Is that too much to ask? Heck, my last date involved Chinese and a few rentals. At his mom's house. Oh the romance.

I also want my boss to know that after 2.5 years of working for him and 4 years in total, I know what I'm doing and that forms need labels. Yeah, I got it. You don't have to tell me every time a patient has a lab requisition.

I want my friends to know that just becasue I'm annoyed or frustrated with them, it doesn't mean that I'm angry at them. We'll get together for drinks eventually.

I want those people who have blogs and don't post for say, a whole month, to freakin' post something. I need something exciting to read at work.

I want to be able to plan my best friend a kick-ass 25th birthday party but I have limited funds and am working crazy hours. Maybe I'll take her to get pedicures and then to Crave. Cupcakes make everything better.

I want, desperately, for my phone to stop ringing so that I can finish my entry and then go back to screwing the pooch all afternoon.

I want abs like Carmen Electra but without all the work. I have determined that I will never be a stripper. My body was not designed to move like that. I think I get more of a workout just laughing than actually "stripping".

I want to go to Greece.

This is what I want. Is it too much to ask?