Stuck in a Furrow

There is nothing quite like coming to your doctor's office (which is an old remodeled house), grabbing a magazine and promptly heading to the washroom.

Gross.

And there was no flushing. Now I'm repulsed.

So Jessica Simpson wants to adopt a child. Great. Good for her. I know that when your marriage falls apart, there is a void but I'm not sure that adopting is the way to fill that hole. I don't deny that there are many children who need to be adopted into homes but why does the fact that she has money and/or "famous" status allow her to skip the steps? Likely,she will walk into an adoption agency or country, sign over a cheque, fill in a form and then leave with her young charge in tow. Very Angelina. As for me, average, plain, not rich me, when the times comes for me to be ready to adopt, I will have to fill in paperwork, undergo psychological testing, be reviewed by Child Welfare, fill in more paperwork, have referances up the wazoo, pay a year in wages and then wait. And wait. And wait. And everyday that passes without a phone call saying "congradulations! You're a mommy!" will be torture. The process could take years. And to adopt from a foreign country (like Zahara's native Etiopia) is even more crazy. I know that to adopt from Uganda, prospective parents have to reside and work in the country for a minimun of 1 year before even applying.

Call me crazy but I would like to think that me and my hubby(whoever he is!), who have waited and prayed for a family, would be able to provide an equally if not more stable home than the Angelinas and Jessicas of the world.

I just don't think it is fair...

I don't understand why people who have young children get to park so darn close to the mall entrance. They are not handicapped. They are not disabled and unable to walk the extra distance like the rest of us. Does pushing a stroller really take that much extra effort? Maybe I should just buy myself a stroller. It would sure be easier to carry my shopping bags that way. Maybe if families had to park in regular spots they'd think twice about bringing screaming Johnny and whinning Susie to the mall where they run their ice-cream covered fingers along my recently cleaned glass countertops while mom is oblivious. How come it is now my responsibility to make sure their children stay out of my back room or behind the front counter? This is a jewelery store, not Romper Room. Control your own kids. My mom would have smacked me upside the head if I behaved like that. And rightly so. I have discovered a whole new level of dislike for these volvo-driving, Lululemon wearing, SUV stoller soccer moms with their 2.5 Gap poster children. They drive me insane.

I think I need to invest in some wine glasses. There is nothing classy about drinking wine out of a mug.

I am probably going to finish this bottle of wine and I will attempt to refrain from drinking it right out of the bottle.

I can make no promises though...

I am trained in first aid, but I don't think I've ever really had to use it in the 4+ years I've been a medical assistant. I never really thought I'd ever have to use it...but today turned out to be different. We had to call a patient in for urgent test results.

It went downhill from there.

It's never easy having to tell someone that they are "sick" but it is especially hard when they have a short time frame. We don't have to tell patients they have cancer very often, usually they know when they come to us or they are in such early stages, that every intervention is possible. Not only did we have to tell this patient that she had cancer, but that it didn't look good. From her results, every possible organ was affected. They had no idea. A complete blindside.

So, when they came in, I put her in an exam room and suggested (in the most non-urgent way that I could) that her husband join her in the room. He immediately knew it wasn't good. Then, the next thing I hear is the door opening and 2 seconds later, the loud crash of our scale being knocked into the wall. Dr. P is calling me and I literally hung up on someone...not even an explanation. The husband was laying on the floor in the "kitchen" with his eyes rolled back and twitching. He came around but we couldn't move him. I was calling 911 and Dr. P spoke to the paramedics but the man seemed ok. Groggy but alert. I did what I was trained to do. Ask questions...keep him conscious and calm. He had to use the bathroom...not a good idea because he still looked pale but he was up and around the corner before I could stop him. Ok. I stood outside the door talking to him...which probably made him annoyed but I didn't really care. Then another loud crash of the toilet tank and I've never seen Dr. P move so darn fast. He was in the washroom and then I was in the washroom, pulling a 200+ lb, 1/2 naked man off the toilet and into the waiting room...not pleasant. Meanwhile, there are patients waiting in the front with looks of wild terror, too stunned to move.

I've seen people faint before. But this was different....I thought he was going to die in our office from a heart attack or something and I was scared...what do I say, what do I do? I felt completely useless. I held his hand and offered her some water. His wife (who just found out that she had cancer) now has to deal with the fact that the paramedics are loading her half-alert husband onto a stretcher and taking him to the hospital. I have a whole new respect for paramedics.

I was shaking ( still am a bit!) and I'm sure my BP was high and Dr. P didn't look so good either...we do internal medicine, we aren't used to emergencies.

So, that is my morning. It was supposed to be quiet....

I woke up in a funk this morning. It's s a good thing I don't have roommates or they might be dead. I didn't sleep well and had some odd dreams. Then, the incessent dripping in my bathroom was enough to put me over the edge. No...wait...it isn't so much a drip as a run. The tub faucet runs and the sink taps drip....drip....drip....drip...AHHH. If I had any tools at all in my apartment, I might have gone all Tim the Tool Man and tried to fix it myself, probably with some disasterous results. I burnt my toast, my garbage had leaked and this was all before 7:30am. I should have stayed in bed.

But, all is not lost.

I decided to wear my capalana (traditional African wrap skirt) to work today which makes me think about my trip and although I wish I was back in the hot tropics, it puts a smile on my face here...that and the fact that I'm wearing orange flip flops. Then, I brewed myself the perfect cup of tea...a feat that seems unattainable to me on most days. It never tastes like mom's. I'm enjoying this cup of tea and wish it would last me all day. My first patient is early, which normally drives me insane...I enjoy my "quiet" time but since he is one of my favourite patients, it is all good. He says I remind him of his granddaughter. So sweet. And (Carmen, you'll totally appreciate this!) I found my keyless entry for my car! YIPPEE . I had lost it somewhere between unlocking my door after yoga and getting coffee at Tim's. We even drove back to where I had parked for yoga to find it, but alas, it was not there. I decided to drive to work today, even though it is only a 15 minute walk, because I was pissy and lo and behold, there was the remote on my seat. How we missed it, I will never know.

So things are looking up.

Now, if only my landlord would fix my taps today.....

I'm back in the part-time jewelery business. Yesterday was my first shift at Market with the old gang. I'm not a great salesperson but I like the discount and sparkly things. As I was checking out the "new" merchandise so that I can be knowledgeable about what I'm trying to sell, my eyes kept gravitating to the $17,000 1.66 ct VS-G (a good rating if you aren't in the know..) diamond. It was HUGE...and looked quite nice on my finger. I probably wore it for a good hour. I have a feeling I might wear the tag off.

I think living alone has finally altered my mindset. I have become domestic! My best friend's mom, Foxy Roxy said that I must be nesting. I don't think it is nesting quite yet. After all, there is no baby fever accompanying the new digs and responsibility. Yesterday, however, I was cooking up a storm...all while entertaining my dear friends with tea and tasty treats!

I made supper for myself and with the leftovers, "whipped" up a lasagna, which I then cooked, divided and froze for my meals in the near future when I have to work evenings at the mall. Then, I made cream puffs with real whipping cream inbetween watching a very stimulating movie, carrying on an MSN conversation and bonding with the girls. Oh...and I had chicken marinating in the fridge. I think I need to invest in an apron to complete the look. I have one, but it is green and says Heineken. That isn't the look I'm going for....maybe something with lace would be better.

Maybe my next project (after I finish the afghan I'm working on) will be to tackle sewing.

Or not. Maybe the little Martha Stewart in me will get bored.

This is an email I got from 2 of my favourite boys in Mozambqiue. They make me smile! Noah (middle) didn't get a chance to write today, but hopefully next time!

Tino: (far left)

hi crystal we miss you because you are not here but i pray to you come here agaen here in mozambique my school is go verywel we heve your picture from here we heve picture from the beach to send to you i no dat you nat forget uss becaus we are your frends bet i nid picture from your ofice thenk you
love tino

Justino: (right with his arm around me)
hi crystal i miss you end your radio i promise you we not can forget you
school is good wen you will sand more pictures?
love justino

I brought my Bible to work today. Not because I'm super spiritual or anything like that....but because I needed to look up a referance for a very dear friend of mine and I didn't have time to do it before I left for work. Anwyays, I had my Bible on my front desk and it was open to the verse I required (Psalm 73:23-28, in case you were wondering...) when a patient came in. Oh No! Do I quickly shut it and stuff it away so that they don't know that I wasn't really working? Do I leave it open and slip it away casually when their attention is elsewhere? What to do? I wasn't quick enough in either option and she calmly pointed out that I was reading the Bible. What? I was? This silly old thing? I'm just doing...um...research! I couldn't avoid the question and her questioning eyes so I replied..."yup, I sure am....I am behind in my Lent reading" For the next 20 minutes, (my boss was late and doing rounds, hence the quiet morning) we had a fantastic discussion about God, religion, spirituality, Blue Like Jazz, and many other things that normally aren't discussed in a doctor's office. Needless to say, it was a great conversation and a great way to start my morning...I'm glad I didn't just stuff my Bible away.

Have you ever had one of the those big, nasty, knock-down, drag 'em out fights that some couples seem to have? I never have...but always wanted to. I guess I just like to fight but Zorro was too big of a pansy, although he did call me a fucker once after I asked him to help with the dishes. He didn't "do" dishes. Not cool. Anyways, on my walk home from work yesterday, there was a big ruckus and as I rounded the corner, I was almost pelted with a shoe. Yup...a shoe and suddenly I was in the middle of a domestic battle! Clothes were flying, the F-bomb was dropping and some poor guy (although he was cute.....maybe he needs a place to stay...hmmm) was picking his whole life up off the muddy ground. Sounded like he cheated but really, who I am to judge? All I know is that he is a jerk and she never wants to see him again. Oh. That hurts. The best part, is that she was on the balcony and he was standing below, pleading for her to reconsider. Under different circumstances, it was very Romeo and Juliet. Almost in a disturbingly romantic way.

I think I've been single for too long.

I walked to work today.

I walked to work yesterday and the day before that. My legs hurt and my shins ache and I now dread the next morning when I have to walk up that big hill again. But, the bright side is...combined with yoga which I start on tuesday, I figure that by the summer, I'm gonna look hot in Lululemon pants. That is my whole goal.

What is up with today? We've had more than our share of loonies...I am so annoyed! So lets say that you had an appointment and the very nice (and cute) receptionist (aka: me) acknowledged your arrival and appointment and asked you to fill in a form for the doctor. Would the next logical question really be "So, will I be seeing the doctor today?" Nope...we just want you to fill in the paperwork and then you can be on your merry freakin' way! Then, my next treasure asked if the doctor was certified to practice medicine. HAHA...we fooled you! He bought his degree on the street for the one time offer and very low, low price of $19.95!

Its almost time to go home. I hope I can make it till then.

I've officially jumped on the bandwagon. I love bandwagons...unless they apply to U2 or Nickelback. I have too much self respect to jump on those bandwagons.